World Of Pets

    Isn't It Weird


You wanna know what's weird? The World of Pets. I'll tell ya why.

Yes, I'm still on this topic, but I have it figured out now. People don't have pets. It's the other way around. Pets have people. As in:

Freak (the cat): "I think I'll have my people make me dinner now. But they are too stupid to understand my complicated Cat Language, so I'll rub my face on the corner of the cupboard. That usually works. They can usually figure that much out."

And, as in:

Freak (the cat): "I have now finished my Captain's Catch dinner from the bowl that bears my name. So I will now grace the presence of you Peasants for a few moments while I clean myself and rub my face on your knuckles."

The pets actually think they are some kind of royalty. That they own the place. Not figuratively, they really think they do. All of the furniture was bought for them by the Peasants. The Peasants bring every meal and clean up the messes. Pets can even open doors. They just choose not to. Because they are royalty. They choose to let the Peasants do these earthly tasks for them.

And, at some point, we begin to think they actually like us. Foolish Peasants.

Pets, sometimes, will run away. Pets don't run away because they are stupid, they are trying to get away. Perhaps to find new Peasants that will treat them with the respect that royalty deserves. Perhaps to sniff out enemy territory, to see if a new King is about to invade and conquer his own band of Peasants. Or perhaps just to run in front of a fast moving car to end the treachery and monotony that you, as simple Peasants, have subjected them to.

Folks, I had to let you know that we've had this mindset all wrong.

And that's weird.