World Of Pets

    Isn't It Weird


You wanna know what's weird? Pets. I'll tell ya why.

First let me start off by saying that I like pets. I really do. I've had them. And not just for dinner like my sister's Pet Cow named Spencer. But I've had cats and dogs and fish, and my wife and I currently own a terribly arrogant cat named Freak. Freak, true to his name, is the creature that convinced me that the entire concept of Pets, and not just my strange cat, was weird.

Consider this. Pets are animals that we allow to live in our house! Not only do we let them live in our houses, we give them names and put these names on little dishes intended to be filled with food and water, hence, keeping them alive, and, we would assume, happy.

And we as pet owners are the very same people who will kill spiders, ants, bats, and other creatures that might venture into our homes. Where in the evolution of mankind did we draw the line? A CAT sleeping across our neck is acceptable, a dog eating our food is acceptable, but a spider dropping onto our shoulder in what could be assumed to be an act of friendship is immediately and harshly obliterated?

You: "But spiders are CREEEEEEEEPY!"

Me (again): OK, they're creepy. But what about squirrels and chipmunks? They're cute. And you're not sharing your living space with THEM! You'll cuss them out for stealing food from your bird feeders. (Another weird thing for another day.) But you certainly would not share your home with them. So, now that we're somehow over the fact that we share our homes with these animals, and we pay good money on food to keep them alive, we actually talk to them. If that's not enough, we begin to think they actually understand us. Then, when they meow or bark back at us, we begin to think we're having an actual conversation.

Sarah (my wife): "Hi Freak."

Freak (our cat): "Meow meow."

Sarah: "Did you hear that? He just said 'Hi Mom'!"

This is truly pathetic, yet we all know it's true.
And that's weird.